May 172011

Everyone is posting their emotional recap of this years ride. I thought it would be better if I listed some of the actual thoughts that went through my head during the ride.  Here is what I can recall:

Mile 0: I truly doubt that it’s going to rain all day. I better slap on some sunscreen just in case.

Mile 5: This is awesome. The road is full of bicyclists. The riders are having fun. I bet the weather will clear up.

Mile 7.3: Nothing better than a mouth full of gravel in the morning. At least I’ll get my calcium.

Mile 10: Well, that got the legs warmed up.

Mile 28: For some reason these raindrops taste kind of sweet

Mile 28.1: Oh wait, that’s drops of snot from my nose.

Mile 38.5: Sweet baby Jesus, there’s Preston.

Mile 39: This is awful. The road is full of bicyclist carnage. The riders are all crying. I think the weather is somehow getting worse.

Mile 39.2: Half my team just dropped. 75% of the other riders are dropping. Am I an idiot by continuing? If so then there are other idiots as well. Let’s roll.

Mile 41.5: I swear to God if that dog gets anywhere near me I’m going to kick it in the face.

Mile 45.3: Well, that got the legs warmed up again.

Mile 52: This has to be the worse gravel road on the face of the planet. Loose. No lines. I want to cry.

Mile 54: This is where the head wind starts. Maybe I should just turn of my brain for a while.

Mile 64.3: Sorry, I don’t know my number. Sorry, I also don’t know my name.  You wouldn’t happen to have a beer would you?

Mile 64.31: Thank God there’s food, water & some friends to regroup with. Let’s down some goo and knock this bitch out.

Mile 68.5: Well, that got the legs warmed up…. again.

Mile 76.5: I wonder where the cherry grove is at in Cherry Grove. Hell, I wonder if anyone even lives in Cherry Grove.

Mile 77.5: Last stretch of head wind. I knew all of those miles in RASC draft lines would come in handy some day.

Mile 80.6: At least it washed the mud off my shoes.

Mile 86.1: That has to be about the last hill.

Mile 89.5: Ok, a left turn. Didn’t we turn right last year?

Mile 91: Ok, a turn.  Counting down, now at mile 94.5.

Mile 91.1: Oh shit. That doesn’t look fun. I wish we had turned right like last year.

Mile 91.6: That has to be about the last hill.

Mile 94.5: Ok, another turn. Wait, didn’t we already have mile 94.5?

Mile 95.4: That has to be the last hill.

Mile 96: Awesome, there’s the water tower!!! ……  Shit, still 3 or 4 miles to go.

Mile 99.1: Oh my Lord I AM DONE.  There’s Chris. I don’t know if I want to give him a hug or punch him in the face.

Mile 99.2: Well, that was fun. I’m covered in mud, I can’t feel my left hand & I’ve just had the time of my life. I can’t wait to do it again in the fall. The weather can’t be any worse.

Leave a comment if you have any of your own deep thoughts from the Almanzo 2011 ride.