Everyone is posting their emotional recap of this years ride. I thought it would be better if I listed some of the actual thoughts that went through my head during the ride.Â Here is what I can recall:
Mile 0: I truly doubt that itâ€™s going to rain all day. I better slap on some sunscreen just in case.
Mile 5: This is awesome. The road is full of bicyclists. The riders are having fun. I bet the weather will clear up.
Mile 7.3: Nothing better than a mouth full of gravel in the morning. At least Iâ€™ll get my calcium.
Mile 10: Well, that got the legs warmed up.
Mile 28: For some reason these raindrops taste kind of sweet
Mile 28.1: Oh wait, thatâ€™s drops of snot from my nose.
Mile 38.5: Sweet baby Jesus, thereâ€™s Preston.
Mile 39: This is awful. The road is full of bicyclist carnage. The riders are all crying. I think the weather is somehow getting worse.
Mile 39.2: Half my team just dropped. 75% of the other riders are dropping. Am I an idiot by continuing? If so then there are other idiots as well. Letâ€™s roll.
Mile 41.5: I swear to God if that dog gets anywhere near me Iâ€™m going to kick it in the face.
Mile 45.3: Well, that got the legs warmed up again.
Mile 52: This has to be the worse gravel road on the face of the planet. Loose. No lines. I want to cry.
Mile 54: This is where the head wind starts. Maybe I should just turn of my brain for a while.
Mile 64.3: Sorry, I donâ€™t know my number. Sorry, I also donâ€™t know my name. Â You wouldnâ€™t happen to have a beer would you?
Mile 64.31: Thank God thereâ€™s food, water & some friends to regroup with. Letâ€™s down some goo and knock this bitch out.
Mile 68.5: Well, that got the legs warmed up…. again.
Mile 76.5: I wonder where the cherry grove is at in Cherry Grove. Hell, I wonder if anyone even lives in Cherry Grove.
Mile 77.5: Last stretch of head wind. I knew all of those miles in RASC draft lines would come in handy some day.
Mile 80.6: At least it washed the mud off my shoes.
Mile 86.1: That has to be about the last hill.
Mile 89.5: Ok, a left turn. Didnâ€™t we turn right last year?
Mile 91: Ok, a turn. Â Counting down, now at mile 94.5.
Mile 91.1: Oh shit. That doesnâ€™t look fun. I wish we had turned right like last year.
Mile 91.6: That has to be about the last hill.
Mile 94.5: Ok, another turn. Wait, didnâ€™t we already have mile 94.5?
Mile 95.4: That has to be the last hill.
Mile 96: Awesome, thereâ€™s the water tower!!! â€¦… Â Shit, still 3 or 4 miles to go.
Mile 99.1: Oh my Lord I AM DONE. Â Thereâ€™s Chris. I donâ€™t know if I want to give him a hug or punch him in the face.
Mile 99.2: Well, that was fun. Iâ€™m covered in mud, I canâ€™t feel my left hand & Iâ€™ve just had the time of my life. I canâ€™t wait to do it again in the fall. The weather canâ€™t be any worse.
Leave a comment if you have any of your own deep thoughts from the Almanzo 2011 ride.
Mile 54: I’m done and not turning into that headwind. I’d rather be at home visiting with the mother-in-law than spend another 5 hours slowly going into hypothermia. I wonder if this guy standing on the side of the road is quitting or just stopped, if I stop it’s for good. Yep, I stopped. Can I get a ride, sweet! I’m done with this shit. Mr. farmer Chuck sure I’d love to stand in your warming room of the barn and drink brandy while making comments about the maybe 20 other riders we watch go by while waiting for this ride…your wife is coming right?!?
Farmer Chuck got you to drink his brandy too? He did strike me as being somewhat too interested in seeing cyclists in spandex.